Warning- kind of serious post alert. And my mum and dad may find this triggering. Don’t worry mama. I’m not depressed.
So every now and then I like to go out for a run. I’m not some great athlete. I‘m just a chubby old lady who likes to think I can run and do something useful for my health. One day when it was very hot, I decided to wear shorts on my run. After that run I vowed never to wear shorts again because the chub rub was insanely painful. But more importantly, I just got stared at by every man I passed. Even men who were driving. I’ve looked in the mirror. Most of you know me. I don’t get it. When I run my white frizzy hair has created a helmet around my head. My glasses chain keeps smacking my face. I’ve got my nerdy 4 eyes. And I look like a deeply out of breath walrus running down the street. I don’t get it. What is there to look at ? I feel so uncomfortable. Even when I wear leggings and the loosest t shirt I can find I still feel deeply uncomfortable. If I get stared at I wonder what my gorgeous friends Lou and Shaf who are also runners feel like. And I refuse to stop running because my poor daughter now equates white hair with dying so I have to exercise so I don’t die on her. At my age exercise stops being about vanity (I think) and becomes about health. It’s not like my Chump is going to leave me! He’s stuck with me forever. Don’t leave me Chump. I really do like you. I want to live forever so that I can bother my kids and their spouses and become the kind of mother in law that we all dread bahahaha! I also want to eat KFC all the time. This morning I was skipping rope on my balcony. It is my new found love. Skipping rope is so much fun. I feel so free and coordinated. Boom. But some old guy just stopped on the street and stared at me for about 30 seconds. I got so uncomfortable that I had to call my chump husband to come and stand on the balcony with me. Only then did the guy leave. Is this the price of being female ? Constantly feeling uncomfortable? I was outraged. I’ve grown up with this kind of sexist attitude. But I can’t bear the thought of my daughter and her peers dealing with this. Yesterday I watched this movie on a Prime about some people cycling the Trans Am route in the states. There was a female competitor who was amazing. And she was smashing the time. And the poor lady was constantly hounded by these male competitors who couldn’t believe that she was better and faster than them because she was a woman. They accused her of doping and of having a support team. She was just talented and motivated and found something she enjoyed. Sometimes the price of being female is too high. When will it change ?