I’m a four-eyes right? People just assume that I wear my glasses because I enjoy them, but the reality is, I wear my glasses, because I just can’t touch my eyes and put contact lenses in. It’s so creepy. I can’t look in the mirror and actually touch my eye. It freaks me out. So I’m stuck with glasses. I’ve always thought I want to do laser eye surgery. And a few years ago, I went to a laser surgery clinic and had the consultation and was told that my eyes weren’t suitable for laser eye surgery. At the time I breathed a little sigh of relief, because even laser eye surgery creeped me out. I mean being awake while someone pokes a laser in my eye and cuts my retina open just freaked the shit out of me. But a few years later and having to wear my glasses to all the various sports that I do, wearing them to special occasions and just looking like the biggest nerd on the planet made me think, ok, I can deal with 15 seconds of weirdness while somebody cuts my eye open if I can be free of my glasses forever. So this summer, I went to another clinic and enquired about vision correction and was again told that my eyes weren’t suitable. Not one to be fobbed off so lightly, I went to Turkey this summer for my summer vacation and thought to myself wouldn’t it be lovely to get laser eye surgery and never have to wear glasses again and when I’m in the swimming pool, I can actually see without worrying about my glasses getting wet etc etc. So I went to an eye hospital there and did a consultation for vision correction and was again told in no uncertain terms that my eyes are just not suitable for any type of vision correction and that I actually have some sort of creepily shaped eyes and frankly it was a miracle I could see at all, even with glasses. To hear this from a surgeon in Turkey, who has no vested interest in my long-term health and vision was an eye opener. Excuse the pun. And suddenly, instead of feeling really downbeat and all depressed about my creepy eyes, I started loving my eyes. I started loving my glasses. Because I can see! I can actually see! I have dodgy eyes and I shouldn’t be able to see, but with glasses I have 20-20 vision. I was amazed. And when I went to the swimming pool, instead of squinting and accepting my poor vision, I wore prescription goggles. And it was like I was a child again! I actually put my head in the water and I could see! It was miraculous. I haven’t put my head in the water in maybe 20 years. But this summer, I swam. With reckless abandon. I had races with the kids to see who could stay underwater for longest. I worked on my front crawl. It was blissful. When we went to the beach, I wore my goggles and dove into the sea. I have never done this in my life. I feel like I’ve been given the gift of sight. And it is a bloody miracle. Now I wear my glasses with absolute wonder and marvel at the miracles of modern medicine. I can see clearly now. And I can’t believe it’s only taken me 20 years to realise I can see.
