I don’t know where to start. It’s been ages since I last checked in. So what are my updates? Gosh, I don’t even know. What hasn’t happened? It feels like everything has happened and then some. But I don’t want to bore you with the minutiae of my life, so will pretty much stick to the highlights and maybe even some lowlights.
We got two new puppies. Don’t ask why we got two. A moment of folly? A moment of ambition? A moment of pure love? I don’t know. All of those things and more. And they are joyful. And I love them with all my heart. But puppies, not for the faint hearted. I mean one puppy is much, two is insane. I feel like for the past 6 months, my life has just morphed into something I don’t even recognize. I am in their service all the time. I know that eventually things will settle and they will become the dogs we always dream of, but for now they remain puppies. They are smart, funny, loving and incredibly selfish. This is what babies are though right? Complete narcissists. They don’t give a crap about anyone. Just feed them, walk them, give them bones to chew and that’s really it. There isn’t much engagement from them at the minute. They occasionally come for cuddles and affection, but its short lived. I know it will change and when it does, I am ready for it. They are the cutest little things, but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t exhausted and confused and sometimes downright angry that my life has changed so much. I guess I just wasn’t ready for all the work that puppies bring, though I did do my research. It’s just intense. And expensive. Let’s not forget expensive. Monthly trip to the groomers, vets. Doggy day care. It’s so much. So much. So much. I could keep writing that sentence, because it’s just so much. But this brings me to my next update….
I am jobless. Ish. You know I was gainfully employed on a part time basis and I was pretty happy in my role. I always struggled with the juggling of parenthood and work, but who doesn’t. One day though, seemingly out of nowhere, I just had the urge to quit. I don’t know why. I wasn’t unhappy. Nothing had changed, but everything changed. It’s strange. I can’t explain why and what happened. But it just did. Just like that, my mind and I think my soul just couldn’t be contained anymore. The contentment just left. Just like that. And suddenly I felt trapped. And before you shout at me. I recognise the extreme privilege I have in just being able to quit on a whim. I get it ok. I’m grateful for it. Not everyone can just quit and who knows maybe in a year, I will be begging for a job, but for right now, I feel free. I feel mentally unshackled. It’s strange because I didn’t even realise I was feeling imprisoned. The human condition is a fascinating thing.
So what’s next for me I can hear you ask? I don’t know. More writing. More exercise. There has been an alarming decrease in exercise despite the fact that my Peloton is there. Call it extreme apathy towards myself I guess. But I’d like to reignite that. Maybe more exciting of all is the opportunities that I hope to create and find. Something in ocean regeneration. Something in seaweed. Something that does good for the world. I haven’t quite found the way yet, but I know it will present itself. For now though, I am enjoying a moment of quiet. A moment of contemplation. A moment of gratitude. And I have to confess, it feels pretty good. And for now if you’re interested in seaweed and some ocean conservation, here is some light reading for you…
Ocean Conservancy – A global nonprofit focused on ocean conservation, with resources on regeneration efforts. https://oceanconservancy.org/
The Seaweed Industry Association – A great resource for learning more about seaweed as a sustainable resource. https://seaweedindustry.org/