You Phoney Impostor

This is what my mind tells me on the daily. And it’s not even true! Rationally I know this. But the mind is hardly rational. I was having a chat with my one of my closest friends L and we got to talking about impostor syndrome because it’s something we both suffer from. But here’s the thing – impostor syndrome mostly affects women. Why? Why are our brains so hardwired against us that we have to feel like frauds all the time? I am a qualified professional and I’ve been working in my chosen profession for a long time. I am objectively good at my job. And yet I doubt myself constantly ( Mind Games; Working Mothers). I worry that they will find out I have no clue what I am talking about. I feel like an impostor in tae Kwon do. I can’t believe they’ve let me grade and awarded me belts based on my performance. Don’t they know I suck ? it’s so sad to be constantly riddled with doubt. I was talking to Mrs. Keanu a few weeks ago and she said that all women feel like they have impostor syndrome. My heart broke. What a world we live in. No matter how good we are and how hard we work we always feel like we are falling short ( The price of being female;  Mom jeans) When I look at Chump and other men I know it’s not even a question that they are good enough, that they are qualified and even if they aren’t, who cares. They will learn and figure it out as they go along. Some studies suggest it’s because of systemic oppression and corporate culture. Maybe it is. I don’t know. I think it comes down to the soft skills that women are supposed to have and that men don’t. Women are expected to be people oriented, remember birthdays etc. Men aren’t expected to do that. Men are expected to get on with the work. It is living with this constant feeling that we don’t have the skills to do the work because we are just women. We can’t be good at anything of substance because we are good at the soft stuff. We buy into these stereotypes and don’t feel as confident. Maybe it’s just me and L that feel this way and we need to have a massive kick up the ass to get over it but I suspect more women feel this way and just haven’t articulated the sentiment. Either way it sucks.