Yesterday the Chump ( Push ups and the Chump) and I went for a long bike ride with a friend ASK. We rode about 30km which for me is insane. Chump and ASK do this cycle regularly and weren’t phased by the distance or the never ending hills. I feel a bit conned by Chump because he sold this ride to me as a gentle flat cycle. I could have gone to Dishoom ( Sunday morning chai and omelettes) for breakfast but enthused by Chump’s description of this “gentle cycle” I skipped my breakfast plans. Well. Allow me to tell you that this was no gentle flat cycle. Just getting to the park of our choosing involved what my husband described as a gentle hill that’s a bit long, but totally manageable. Chump. That hill was never ending and it broke me. Then we reached the park that we were meant to cycle around. I was broken and exhausted. I could already feel my quads cramping up. Poor ASK had to cycle behind me and even though he kept insisting it was fine, I felt so bad for him. He was out for a real ride with his buddy and instead he got lumbered with me. I should mention that ASK and I train regularly together in tae Kwon do so he knows I’m not entirely useless. Just a little bit useless. Chump and ASK do that ride in about 2 hours and it took me 4 hours. At some point ASK left us to it and dashed home and me and Chump struggled for the next 1.5 hours with the park. Which again Chump described as really gentle and really flat. It was only when we got there and he admitted that there were some hills that he used to have to walk up. I walked up them all. I cried, I prayed. Finally we got home and I crashed on the sofa. I switched the TV on and put it straight onto Tour de France and proceeded to give my now expert commentary on how they should tackle those hills. I cried some more because my legs were like jelly. I smothered the entirety of my legs in deep heat, took two baths, tried to distract myself from the pain with a Tom Hardy movie, made both the kids give me massages and finally at 930pm gave in and went to bed. I complained so much to Chump who was initially very supportive but after the third application of deep heat told me to “get over it already“. Chump. I slept miserably but today, I feel great. I’m ready for the next ride. Come on Chump. I’ll race you.
