Push ups and the Chump

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So everyone is talking about how lockdown is going to be their time to set and smash all these amazing fitness goals and become super shredded. That was my goal too. At the beginning of lock down. Before home learning and the reality of having my family home with me all day every day sunk in. Now I’m lucky if I make it for my daily exercise allowance. Ok granted I’ve been ill and so any form of exercise has been off the table for nearly two weeks but even before I got ill, it was a struggle to fit anything in and not feel guilty that my kids were left to their own devices. Anyway I’m kind of back to normal so exercise is back on the agenda. But I want to talk about push ups. I fracking hate push ups with a passion. I cannot do them. Even in a modified position. One sad day my husband saw me attempting to do a push up and legit laughed in my face. Chump. I told my TKD coach I couldn’t do one and his exact words were “that’s piss poor” and then proceeded to laugh. I would just like to put it out there that he is 18 years old and a world champion so whatever. But it pissed me off. Why can’t I do a push up ? Everyday I have to watch the injustice of my husband doing 40 push ups before he even gets ready for the day, completely effortlessly. Chump. Even my 7 and 4 year old children can do push ups. I told my husband I was going to write about push ups today and his exact words were “why don’t you try and do one instead of writing about them”. Chump. How about shut up before I dolyo chagi you in the head. Yeah that’s right. I can do that. I’ve been training with Mr T for 3 years. I’ve learned a thing or two. And by Mr T I don’t mean the “i pity the fool” one. I mean my Mr T. My other champion TKD coach. Sensing a theme here ? I really love TKD. But I will write about that another day. For now I’m focusing on push ups. So my task for this lockdown is not to get shredded or learn a new language or write an award winning novel. It’s to do one push up. One real push up without feeling like I’m going to vomit. I don’t know if I will succeed. Push ups are hard. And I hate them. But I refuse to be shown up by my husband. Who I love. Really. He’s not that much of a chump. Only when he’s doing push ups.

So all this time I’ve been telling you to subscribe, which you should do really. But apparently if you want to leave a comment (as my chump husband has informed me) you need to become a member. I don’t make the rules. Or do I?

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