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My week

 

Last week was brutal for me. I had so many things that just all converged at the same time and just made me super tense and stressed.  I could actually feel my veins constricting. I could feel the knots in my stomach.  I could feel the breathlessness, the restlessness, the nervousness. I had a pounding headache the whole week.  It was so visceral.  It was awful.

Anyway, what could be so bad you ask.  Well as my dad so bluntly put it while I was having a mini panic attack on the phone to him, none of these things was life or death, so why was I overreacting? Because that is what I do. Duh. I had my tae kwon do grading. Tae kwon do is my favourite thing in the world. It is so much more to me than a hobby and one day when I find the right words to describe it, I will tell you all about it in detail. But for now, all you need to know is that I love it. But I also hate it. Because I love it so much. Are you following? Yes, I know it’s all very confusing and contradictory. Now you know how I feel. But because I am so heavily invested in tae kwon do and it’s so much more than a hobby to me, I take it super seriously.  I am very average at tae kwon do.  I am not some gifted martial artist. I must work seriously hard to even be ok at it. I am always scared of injuring myself because I am both old and clumsy.  This is not a good combo for anything, let alone a martial artist. So, it was my grading, and I am proud to say I have made it to blue belt.  This is halfway to black belt. But I was super stressed. I am old and don’t remember a lot of things easily and for tae kwon do you have to learn a lot of theory and Korean terminology.  As I am a super nerd, I take studying very seriously. But studying at my age is not easy. And I am literally learning a new language. 

On top of the stress of tae kwon do, I also had a few horrible things I had to sort out at work. You know that thing that none of you think I do? My day job? It all got fixed in the end, but it involved so much emotional trauma, and may I add admin (Errand ParalysisPeople Are Dumb )(and you all know how I feel about admin) that I genuinely thought I would keel over dealing with it all.  Luckily, I didn’t, and I’m here to tell the tale. 

This was also the week that I migrated the old blog to here and even though I hired somebody amazing to do it, it still involved supervision and participation from my end. And seeing as I don’t understand technology, I genuinely had no idea what I was weighing in on. It was just super stressful trying to figure it all out. I felt like a serious dumb ass. I felt like one of those 70-year-old parents who have to ask their kid to set up their iPad. My mum always does this to me and I get so frustrated with it all, but now I have nothing but sympathy.  Tech is way too confusing. I sometimes ask my 8-year-old to help me with Zoom.  How embarrassing.

child using technology easily
see Mum zoom is easy

So yes, this was my week. Nothing life or death, but all stressful, nonetheless. But here I am. I have somehow survived it all. I think I have taken about 3 years off my life span as a result of this week, but if I only live to be 172 years old, as opposed to 175, it will be ok. Hopefully by that age I will have my black belt.

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