Looking in a mirror used to be a past time I rather enjoyed. I would always be so smug that I looked highly average without much effort and used to laugh at all the people who would spend an inordinate amount of time making themselves look highly average. Ah the good old days. Now I look in the mirror and see a decrepit old witch and weep for my long lost youth. I see grey hairs growing abundantly. My once kind of tamed hair is now nothing but a frizz ball. And those greys are a slap in the face. My husband claims he likes the greys, but admits he could do without the frizz. Chump. Sure, I could blow dry my hair and straighten it and put product in so that I could kind of look like myself instead of a bichon frisse on crack but honestly what’s the point!
I’ve stopped looking in the mirror because you know ignorance is bliss and all that. And well my husband has bought season tickets to my show and they are non refundable. And my kids have to love me because I’m all they’ve got.
I occasionally see friends from a safe distance and well they are so blown over by my witty conversation that they don’t even notice I’ve grown caterpillars where my eyebrows used to be and wear the same leggings and workout top every day.
One day when lockdown ends I will have to go back to the beauty salon and get rid of the caterpillars, fix my talons and attempt to brush my hair. But for now the Hagrid look suits me just fine. I don’t even think I would know how to button up a pair of jeans anymore.
Yesterday we met our Noogimi in a park and kept our requisite 2 metres apart and as it had been so long since we’ve genuinely been around people I completely forgot that I have now taken to wearing a glasses chain so that I don’t lose my glasses. My SIL just couldn‘t stop staring at my glasses chain and my grey roots. I’ve officially embraced my inner elderly librarian/decrepit old witch. I don’t know if i ever want to go back to normal. Maybe the world will decide that I have to stay in lockdown because it’s too scary for them to have me on the loose with my glasses chain.
