So during lockdown part 1, I cleared out my wardrobes, Marie Kondo’d ( Clutter clutter clutter) my life and lamented on the materialism and consumerism ( First World Problems) that overtook my life. No more I vowed to myself. No more buying things I don’t need. No more empty spending and accumulating. It’s time for my soul to shine. Haha. What. A. Joke. Lockdown 2.0 is here and all I can think about is shopping. I want boots. I want jeans. I want jumpers. I need dresses. How will I survive if I can’t buy dresses? Must buy dresses. Immediately. I can’t be stopped. Lockdown won’t stop me. Now the reason why this is doubly hilarious is because I am not going anywhere. I work from home. And I live in leggings. What on Earth do I need dresses for? But the messed up heart wants what the heart wants and dresses it wants so dresses it shall have. I just know that in a year those dresses will end up relegated to the back corner of a wardrobe never to see the light of day again. But as long as I am happy now who cares ? Oh life is so weird. We can never crack the code of true happiness. Instinctively I know I don’t need anything. I just need to sit down and be quiet and let the thoughts come and go ( Uncertainty) and eventually the overwhelming desire to consume and fill the hole caused by anxiety and uncertainty will be filled with silence and acceptance. If only I could shut my ego up long enough to get to that stage. Until then I will browse online and hope to God that I forget my credit card numbers. Wish me luck.
