Big Fat Rain

I went out for dinner with my lovely SILs on Sunday night. It was so nice to be out with other people. But it required me taking off my leggings and actually wearing real clothes. I put on my first pair of trousers and they wouldn’t bloody close! I was horrified. I put on a second pair and they just about closed. Bloody lockdown ! I racked my brain and tried to figure out why I couldn’t do the buttons on my trousers and for the life of me couldn’t understand. Then I looked in the bin to my bedroom and saw it. That empty packet of family sized Doritos that I took down by myself in bed. What a face palm moment. So this whole week I have been walking around feeling like a big fat lump of Doritos. It is not a good feeling. It doesn’t help that old Chump face is looking better than he’s ever looked. Chump.  ( Push ups and the Chump; Cycling )And he just turned 40. He is the fittest he’s been and the most handsome. Chump. Some of my girlfriends even told me how hot he is looking. That evening I found my secret stash of peanut M&Ms and cried. Ah the pressure of living with someone who just gets better with age. Anyway I’ve started doing PE with Joe. We shall see whether it helps but today I’m lacking in motivation and I blame the rain. I hate rain. Just the sound of rain on my windows sends me into a panic. I can actually feel my heart constricting and my arteries getting tight when it rains. It’s a very visceral response. If you know me personally, you’ll know why. Memories of ruined wedding receptions and leaky flats come flooding to the forefront of my mind. Last night I couldn’t sleep at all. The rain just sent me into a flutter of panic. I really needed those M&Ms but then I remembered those stupid trousers and my stupid Chump of a husband and just put the pillow over my ears and repeated a mantra – M&Ms are not your friend. Somehow that got me through the night. Now how to get through the day